Messy Success Episode 3: The Messy Gap Between Confidence and Comparison | Elizabeth Henson Photos

Messy Success Episode 3: The Messy Gap Between Confidence and Comparison

Questions Answered in this Episode

    • How do we get over comparison on social media?
    • How can we avoid removing the triggers for comparison (unfollowing other creatives) while supporting our peers?


Show Notes

The Messy Gap Between Confidence and Comparison

Let’s talk about the messy gap between confidence and comparison. In this episode, I dig into the intersection between social media and real-life relationships and what can happen when we forget the real person on the other side of the screen.

Social media can be pretty great. It’s such an important and FREE marketing tool for us and it’s an amazing way to keep in touch with people all over the world. But social media isn’t always a good thing. It can be too easy to hide behind the screen and to really hurt people, unintentionally and intentionally.

Recently, I’ve experienced first hand the trend of creatives removing every other creative from their feeds to avoid comparison, even if they know them in real life. I really believe that everyone who is a friend of mine is a friend in every realm of my life, whether that’s my in-person life or my social life. In person relationships are valuable and all relationships we have in this world can impact our business and our success. I want to teach my daughters to watch other women succeed and to be ok with that and I try to model that in my day-to-day life.

If the problem is comparing ourselves to others, how do we get over that dreaded comparison? How do we gain confidence?

    • Surround yourself with successful and positive women more often!
    • Instead of eliminating triggers, work on them! Do the mindset work to make yourself better and realize you can achieve success with the right mindset.
    • Remember: What’s the worst that can happen?? If we allow failure into our lives, we no longer fear it.

We can’t open the door for every person that tries to come into our lives. Boundaries are important. But in person relationships should always trump social media. So let’s not make a movement out of unfollowing other creatives because it’s hard for us to compare.

Intention vs. Impact

When other photographers talk about unfollowing other photographers, the intention is probably good. Their intention is to cure themselves of comparison and to want that for other people, but the impact it’s making is not curing the problem, and could be hurting people in the process.  

I want social media to be a safer, more encouraging place, for my children and for the other women who are trying to start new businesses, who are terrified. I really believe in living community over competition. Treating people differently on social media than we would in real life is not the solution.


Social media isn’t everything, but it’s a valuable tool that can easily be used in ways that are harmful to others. Don’t let comparison or a lack of confidence in yourself dictate how you’re managing your digital and IRL relationships!



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Confidence and Comparison