I love Instagram. I REALLY DO.   It is my favorite app, I spend a ton of time there. And with all the new features it is becoming even more fun.

But I have a huge gripe about IG and I know I can’t be the only one feeling this way.   So I want to share this because it is very heavy on my heart lately.

This email is not the first time this has happened…   Someone I consider to be my friend, has been in my home, shared a meal with me, and has had my off-the-clock time away from my children.   Someone who is easily a friend in person has decided to unfollow my IG account.  Yet on Facebook and the “real” world everything seems normal.

I blame it on a lot of this educational stuff that is floating around that tells people to make your feed ONLY what you want to see, and only what makes you more creative and inspired.  And I get that, especially when it comes to strangers on the Internet.  I really do understand both sides of the fence…. But socially I think that attitude can sometimes be a mistake.

We shared a meal, we hugged in person, the list could go on an on. We shouldn’t let our desire to see beautiful things on an app become more important than fostering real relationships.

I’m not here to vent about this, or say that I disagree with the whole “keeping your feed pretty and inspirational stuff.” To each their own, and IG gives us that easy way to choose and un-choose what we “follow.” (I will never understand why we make the word “follow” so different than “friend” ugh.)  And I would be lying if I said I have never unfollowed someone… but the point I’m trying to make is that we should treat the real humans in our life well, and harbor those relationships.

Social media and IG are GREAT ways to maintain, and grow relationships you already have, or to build new ones.

Anyone who is a friend of mine is a friend in EVERY realm of my life.   Social media is exactly that…. Social.     It is one big cocktail party, with people constantly shaking hands. So why would we treat social media any differently than we would in person?

The way we treat people in EVERY aspect of our life, real, Internet, business, not business… actually has the power to affect our success. In this industry our job is in serving people.  So everything in our life should be done in kindness and serving others, if we truly want to attract people to us. We think we can hide behind the internet sometimes, but in fact the things we do day in and day out, will attract or repel people to our lives AND our business.   Shoot, I’m probably repelling people with this blog post. And we all have to be okay with the decisions we make.

But I get it… you don’t want to “see” my work in your feed. But in this new era of community over competition, and the power of lifting others, I really don’t get it.   I don’t get it at all.

I want to challenge anyone reading this to change the way you look at Instagram. Instead of spending time worried about your numbers, or who’s work shows up in your feed that you don’t want to see….   Spend time loving on those that love on you. Who has helped you in your business? Who are the people engaging in your day to day?   Pay attention to those people and ignore the rest of the noise.   And before you hit that unfollow button, or choose not to follow someone at all…. Ask yourself if you consider them a friend?  If you have to convince yourself that they wont notice, then you are probably have it all wrong.  Shouldn’t we be using social media so that people DO notice us…? For all the RIGHT reasons?

Lastly because I know there are people reading that want to respond with this…. “Liz they are doing that because they are jealous or they are suffering from comparison”…   I’m not heartless and I know this happens.   We are ALL human when it comes to comparison.   But again my comeback is…. Shouldn’t real relationships trump that stigma?   I’m not saying that like it is easy…. But it is just another situation where I choose to treat social media just like I would the real world….

Example…. How do I want to raise my daughters?   When they come home from school in a few years and they tell me about a girl in their class who is so darn perfect, and amazing, and smart, skinny, and funny.  We ALL know that girl…. the worst part, that girl is even NICE…   Well in real life my daughters can’t erase that girl from class. They can’t choose not to see her.   So why should I follow suit that we can behave that way on social media?

A friend is a friend, done end of story…. That is until IG became this thing of turning our social life into an inspirational magazine.   Maybe I have it all wrong, and maybe it is easier for me because I don’t find my inspiration on Instagram.   I become inspired when I’m good to others, when I see them grow and find happiness. “Pretty” things have really never inspired me to do better or be better. So maybe I’m the odd ball.

And maybe I sound like a big idiot because I walk around thinking people are my friends. But you know what, I love people hard. It is what I do.   I feel called to support other creatives, to make friends, to grow my networking wings.   Not for a number of followers, but for real connections.   To simply live my life treating others the way that I want to be treated.

The fact that I follow a TON of photographers, love on them, shout them out… has not ONCE negatively effected my business. And you know what…. If someone skipped over me and booked them then I’m glad. Because it means I fostered that connection.   And I truly hope my want to gain business never trumps my ability to touch the lives of others.

If you are are with me and want more conversations around this then Join our Messy Squad or come listen to the podcast!

Photo by Bethanne Arthur